Could Money buy Respect?

For me, this new year starts with a beautiful lesson learnt from a small conversation between a fruit seller and a stranger. Totally the conversation would have lasted for just a minute but the impact and the outcome of it is huge.

A fruit seller was selling fruits in a wheelbarrow. A person came there buy some fruits. He enquired about the price of guava. The fruit seller replied "கிலோ இருவது ரூவா". He asked the fruit seller to give half Kg guava. The fruit seller weighed it, put it in a bag and gave him the bag.

The person took the wallet out of his pocket. There were a few hundred rupee notes and one five hundred rupee note. He took a hundred rupee note, waved it at the fruit seller and asked him "சில்ரை இருக்கா?". The fruit seller looked him up and down. He didn't reply anything. He just shook his head up and down, nodding that he has money to give him the balance.

The stranger gave the fruit seller a hundred rupee note. The fruit seller took out a plastic cover bundle out of his pocket. The person looked at his bundle. I wonder whether he felt, that the fruit seller's wallet is bigger than that of his. While the fruit seller was counting money to give him the balance, he took an apple and was contemplating whether to buy it or not. The fruit seller took his turn now and asked, "அது கிலோ இருநூறு ரூவா. காசு இருக்கா?". The question left the stranger dumbstruck. He didn't reply. He just shook his head. The fruit seller just smiled and gave him the balance. Their conversation ended.

There were just two questions in this conversation. In the first one, the buyer asks the fruit seller whether he has money. In the second, the fruit seller asks buyer the same question. While the genuine intention behind the first question was to know whether the fruit seller has money to give him balance, I could feel that the manner he asked it troubled the fruit seller. I don't know what made him to authoritatively ask the question - whether the 'assumption' that the stranger made that he has more money or his patronizing attitude towards the fruit seller.

Whatever it is, the point that I would like to make is - many forget the fact that they should respect a person for his character, for his personality, for his attitude and not for money. When I look at the dictionary, I could see the definition for money and respect as,

Money(Noun) - "The most common medium of exchange; functions as legal tender".
Respect(Noun) - "A courteous expression (by word or deed) of esteem or regard".

Obviously both doesn't have the same meaning. Then, it is strange why people treat them as synonymous. I accept that it is hard to accrue a lot of money. But just because a person has accrued a lot of money could not make him a person deserving great respect.

Respect should be given to anyone who deserves it. It shouldn't be something that could be bought with money. Neither should it be something that is sold for money.

 Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody. -  Benjamin Franklin

 Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. - Albert Einstein

21st December - Is it the end ? - If so what would you do ?

The world has only two more days if the Mayan Calender prediction is going to be true. I just had a casual chat with my friends and just out of curiosity I asked them what would they like to do if they are sure that they have only 2 more days. There were a lot of answers ranging from a trip to the USA to an affair with the girl friend..!

Most of them(including me) were determined to do what ever it takes to fulfill their life's last desires if they are sure that the world will end. But, most of their wishes seemed very simple, that they could have fulfilled in their years of life so far, rather than trying to fulfill all their simple wishes in the last 2 days. Everyone of them could have lead years of fulfilled happy life which they want to have for just 2 days now.

I wondered, what made them to try to fulfill desires now?
I wondered, what made them to try to achieve whatever they wanted, in two days without even thinking if it is possible..?
A simple, one word answer to these questions would be 'Time'.

When we realize that time is running out and we don't have much time, we give our everything to accomplish our desires. Otherwise, for most of us, life is a routine process with some occasional surprises. Is that life all about?

I feel life is not just that. We always had time to make friendship. We always had time for a hangout and of-course we always had time to love, to make a girl friend. But why couldn't we make the best of every day even when there's nothing called a doomsday and we have a lot of time(I'm damn sure world is not going to end day after tomorrow). The problem is we think we have a lot of time and  compromise ourselves on many things.

There might not be any truth in the Mayans prediction but I feel, if there's something we wish to do, we should go ahead and do it anyway. Or one day we may regret for missing many things in life.

Life is too short to worry about anything. You had better enjoy it because the next day promises nothing.            -Eric Davis

Even if the world doesn't end, another year from our life has gone. I wish next year doesn't end in the same way as this year with  a list of things that we haven't done. Instead let it be one in which we have given our best to the things that matter, a year where we have tried to be the happiest we can be.

Do not compromise on your happiness. It's your life and it is in your hands to fulfill your wishes and dreams.
Happy living..!

Confront Your Weaknesses

It has been long since I posted in this blog. I would like to come back with a good story..!

Yeah, everyone of us have weaknesses. But how do we face it and how do we overcome it makes the difference. I would like to share one incident which happened in my life some years back.

I was shown a picture of a baby, laughing happily. I was given 5 minutes to prepare a 3 minute speech relevant to that picture. After 5 minutes, I was asked to come on to the stage to deliver a speech in front of nearly 40 strangers.

I stepped on to the stage. An awkward feeling rushed over me and it was a heart thumping moment when everyone was watching me. If you have ever experienced this feeling, then probably I am one among you. Somehow I cooked up a small story for the speech.

Here it goes.
"Good morning everyone. Seeing that picture, some of you may have thought, 'why couldn't I be so happy as that baby? Why life is not happier as it used to be when I was a child?'. For those of you, I'd like to tell a small story.

Three boys, Ram, Shyam and Kumar, were sleeping in a room. Unexpectedly, the power went off. Since power cuts have become a common scenario now, 'unexpectedly' doesn't seem to be correct here. OK, lets leave that and get to the point. As the fans were off, they felt opening the windows could get them some fresh air. But no one wants to get up from their bed to open the windows. Laziness - one of the characteristics of some contemporary boys. Ram asked Shyam to open the windows. Shyam asked Kumar to do the same. Kumar said that he has opened the windows. After that all the three slept well.

Next morning, Ram woke up to find that the windows were never opened. That was when he realized, what he felt made the difference. He felt that the windows were opened and he got some fresh air. That made him to sleep well. Same goes with life. If you feel that 'All is well', everything will be fine. After all, life is to live, to love, to share and not to suffer. Happy living..!"

Does this story has any relevance to the post title - Confront Your Weaknesses. Of course, yes. To confront your weaknesses, believe that you are not weak. If you believe that you are not weak, then you won't have such heart thumping moments or any anxiety in the pit of your stomach when facing people.

"What you habitually think largely determines what you will ultimately become." - Bruce Lee

P.S. I Love You - Cecelia Ahern

P.S.I Love You - I never knew that this is Cecelia Ahern's first novel. But later when I came to know, I felt that this is a wonderful debut from her.

Gerry and Holly are childhood friends. They both share a very deep love - like love birds - one wouldn't live without the other. They marry each other. They couldn't even imagine their life without the other. She could tell what he thinks and he could tell what she thinks.

One day, Gerry dies of brain tumor. Holly couldn't bear the loss of Gerry. Holly is inconsolable. She struggles with what to do in her life without Gerry. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't eat. She doesn't leave the house or talk to friends. Sitting alone in the house, she is thinking of Gerry and the beautiful life they had before he died. Every time she thinks of him, she cries.

The only person in the world who could give her strength, who could move her to a normal life is her husband Gerry. But he is no more. Nobody knows Holly better than Gerry. He knew that Holly would be devastated if he dies. So, he planned to write letters that could guide her and help her to overcome his loss. He wrote a series of letters each signed with "P.S. I Love You" for 10 months.

The man who knows her better than anyone else sets out to guide her into a new life. Holly cheers up every month while opening each letter to see what surprise Gerry has left for her. Every time Holly reads a letter, she feels Gerry is somewhere near her, still looking at her, still embracing her. All the while she realizes that even though he is gone he is still with her in spirit. He guides her into a new life, teaching her how to laugh, how to dress, how to sing and even how to love again, but now without him. He guides her in overcoming her fears and rediscovering herself. He made her believe that his death is not the end, but the beginning of her new life.
----

There are so many characters in this book and some characters have a very little contribution. The story moves very slowly in the beginning and at many points there is a sense of repetition. But I should say the characterization of Gerry is beautiful. I couldn't even imagine how he would have felt when he wrote the last letter to Holly, especially the last sentence of the last letter. You will definitely have a lump in your throat when reading it.

P.S. I Love You -  Simple, bitter love story but sweet.

                                          

Dear John - Nicholas Sparks

Dear John - one other best romantic book from Nicholas Sparks. This is a love story in its purest form.

John Tyree is back home to Wilmington, North Carolina from a military tour in Germany. While home on leave, John enjoys surfing along the beach at Wilmington. This is where he meets Savannah. John rescues Savannah's purse that has dropped into the deep waters - a simple incident that changes his life forever! After that incident, they two get talking, he teaches her to surf and very soon they fell in love.

Apart from describing the intense love that John and Savannah shares, Nicholas Sparks beautifully describes the relationship between John and his father. John's father is quiet. He likes to do his routine things and never talks much. The only thing he talks about is his extensive coin collection. He has a great passion for numismatics which John could never really understand. One day, John took Savannah to meet his father. After spending some time with his father, Savannah points out to John that his father may have Asperger's syndrome. After that John comes to look at his father differently, finally accepting him for who and what he is. Savannah presents John a book on autism to better understand his father.

Unfortunately, John's leave ends and he has to return back to Germany. He has one more year of service before he can be relieved. They both promised to wait for each other and write to each other during this 12 months separation.

"Dear John, Should I start by telling you that I love you...If you come back, I'll marry you...Love, Savannah."
While reading this, John could think of nothing but going back to Savannah. Thus they both shared their love through letters during their days of separation. Both of them longing to see and embrace each other soon. Both of them longing to start their life soon.

But then happens the tragic 9/11. John faces a difficult choice to make - Whether to re-enlist himself as a patriotic soldier or get back to Savannah..? Really difficult choice to make. But he decides to be a good soldier leaving Savannah with a difficult choice as well - Should she wait for him or just move on..?

But Savannah understands his decision and continues to wait. They continue to write letters, sharing their love. But as days passed on, some lack of intimacy from Savannah. The frequency of letters from decreased. Finally the last Dear John letter arrives from Savannah.

Dear John,
  ..... So here I am, groping for words with tears on my cheeks and hoping that you'll somehow forgive me for what I'm about to write....I understood your reason for staying in the army, and I respected your decision. I still do, but we both know our relationship changed after that. We changed, and in your heart, I think you realized it, too. Maybe the time apart was too much, maybe it was just our different worlds...please believe me when I say I didn't mean to fall in love with someone else...
                                                          It goes on..
I'm so sorry-
Savannah


Through her last letter, Savannah notifies John that she has fallen for someone else. John does not respond to that letter. He decides to continue being a good soldier. John's father become deathly ill and John comes back home to see his father. In a heart touching manner John reveals his feelings to his father about how much he loves him.

In a few days John's father dies and John goes to see Savannah only to know that she got married to Tim, who is stricken with melanoma. Tim is in hospital taking his treatments. At home, John and Savannah have the last heat-to-heart talk. Finally John says "Goodbye Savannah".

He anonymously donates money for treatment that will save Tim’s life, and then checks back to see that that Savannah and Tim are happy. The way John concluded his thoughts about what real love is would make even the toughest hearts melt and toughest persons weep.

If that is not true love, I don't know what is..!